Journal #7 Chapters: 26-28 Perspective: Helen

I can’t believe my dear Tom has left me. We were supposed to grow very old together and have a lot of kids. I remember when Tom and I met and it was before the depression we were living a little bit outside of Maycomb and we were only teenagers grow old together and have many children. He was such a good and noble man now I don’t know what I am going to do with out him. I haven’t even built up enough courage to tell my kids, I just don’t want to see their little hopeful faces droop and then start crying. They knew that Atticus was going to help their daddy get out of jail so that he could come home. One of my kids sat bye the window and I mean the only time he left was when he had to go to the bathroom and he just sat there waiting for his dad to come home. I knew he wasn’t going to come any time soon but I couldn’t let him down like that. Oh I miss my Tom so much and just wish that he was here right now To tell the truth I had hope that for the first time, a black mans word would go over what a white person says but I guess I was wrong. This is a very sick world I don’t understand why we were thought of as any less than the white man. I guess it’s because they took our ancestors from Africa a long time ago and they consider even the blacks that were born here indigenous to the U.S. I just don’t think that its right that we are always persecuted and looked down upon because of the color of our skin. Alla this just makes me want to hate that Mayella girl. She as well as everyone in Maycomb knows good and well that my Tom didn’t do anything to her. She liked him and wanted him to like her and felt embarrassed when he wouldn’t give into her trying to lead him on. I’m not sure if her dad beat her or not but I do know that her daddy was furious when he saw his daughter pushing herself onto a black man. I wish Tom would’ve not even agreed to help her at all he probably would have got in trouble but he sure as hell wouldn’t be dead right now. He just had to be an amazingly nice person no that that’s a bad thing but in this situation, it was, I wouldn’t have minded if he ignored her as he walked by. Right now, I think I just hate all of Maycomb and maybe the entire world I just don’t know why they had to take away the person that I loved the most. I don’t know why god would do this to me I thought he loved me, at least that’s what Rev. Sykes always tells us at church. Now the only thing that I feel like I have to live for is my children and if it weren’t for them, I probably would have committed suicide by now. I mean I probably don’t have the best assessment of why everything happened the way it did but I definitely hope I’m able to figure it out. All of the things that have happened within the past month have defiantly been inconvenient and I don’t consent any of this at all. No normal person would consent their husband being accused of a crime he didn’t do and then being killed at that. He allegedly tried to escape from the jail but I know my Tom and I really don't think he would do that they probably just killed him. I don’t know what I am going to do but I guess I have a while to think about it.