Journal #6 Chapters: 16-19 Perspective: Mr. Ewell

I’m starting to get very nervous. The chief, Mayella, and I all had the story worked out. We thought of all the questions they could possibly ask us and that Atticus is still finding ways to catch us in a lie and to make the defendant seem innocent. I don’t understand why he has to ask so many questions why can’t he just be a normal person that don’t even try to defend niggers. As of now, I don’t like him not one bit and to me, he ain’t no better than a nigger with no job and twenty babies. He over here tryna prove how I aint a good pop and all but I’m the best pop I’ll ever know at least I aint raisin my kids to be darn nigger lovers. It’s hard raising eight kids with no help at all. There’s no joy in the world the only joy I get is when I gota big bottle of whisky in my hand. Indulging myself in the liquor is my only way out, my only way away from this case my only escape from this here world, I don’t worry about a darn thing. Sometimes I just think about taking myself out of this world but then I think about my kids and how they would have to be separated from each other with no one in their life. Not that I really make a difference in their lives any way but I reckon I’m better than nothing. Man all of this liein kinda got me down lately now I wish I hada never called the police no one would have saw her bruises no way and I could have kept this whole thing quite. Well right now I just gota let out what really happened all that Tom Robinson said happened was right far as I know and when I walked to the window and saw him backing up toward the door and her coming after him, it made me furious. Not really at him but at my daughter she embarrassed me so much. I ran in that house so fast, she didn’t even have time to take a step then I pulled her by the hair, threw her to the ground, and from what I can remember, I just started beating and beating until my little bit of since came back to my mind. I think that it was the alcohol that made me act that way I had just finished a bottle of some stuff I don’t even remember what it was. That was the worse I ever beat her and I think I jut took out all my anger at the world, life, and what she had done. She finally crawled to the phon and called the chief. He came very soon, too fast for me to come up with a story of what happened so I just ended up telling him the truth. Me, The Chief and Mayella all sat there for three hours getting the story straight. At first we were gona say that she went on to him and he proceeded but then she changed her mind and said stop but he wouldn’t. We thought that would make Mayella look bad for coming on to him so that is when we came up with the final story. I told Mayella that it would happen to her again if she didn’t stick with the story and I think that scared her enough. Mayella was closed to getting beat as soon as we got home when she told Atticus that I was tolerable cept when but then she didn’t finish it. I swear if she would have finished that sentence, I would be in jail right at this moment. I just hope that Tom Robinson is sentenced to the death penalty so that this town can live in peace and things can go back to the way they were. I mean you could say that I feel a little sorry for the fellow he didn’t do nuthin but not that much after all, he aint nothin but a nigger.